I’m Baaaaaaaack with a huge epiphany and new direction

Hi everyone out there in internetland. I just wanted to update this blog as it has been quite awhile since my last update. A random facebook comment inspired me to start this up again. Just a few weeks ago I had a huge epiphany, might even be the biggest one I’ve had in my life and even experienced a small “ego-death”. I basically realized the reason I judge others stems from my childhood (and partly just human nature) and I judge others as a coping mechanism to make myself feel better about my own inadequacies. I particularly have a hang-up with those who have more money than myself. I will judge them harshly and find an area I am better than them at in life to make myself feel better about not achieving my full potential financially. This applies to other areas as well. I compare myself to others and judge them to make myself feel better.

Basically I was finally able to admit to myself that I am not perfect do have some issues regarding deeper insecurities, self-acceptance, and self-love that I need to address. While they are not extreme, the mere fact of admitting to all this and letting go of my ego was a very freeing experience. Every time I reach a new level of consciousness I find I get lazy and complacent. This was just the kick in the rear I needed to get to work on myself and my mission.

I have been able to do much more observing instead of judging lately and it is an amazing feeling. I realized I judged not only people, but articles, ideas and even entire belief systems. It is all completely unnecessary and I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders as I experience life in a different manner.

Anyway, I am in the process of putting together some sort of online course. I would like to start with a course on “how to easily make close friends as an adult” and one that ties into that is a course on “effective communication”. I believe I have strengths in these areas and others and would like to be able to teach people how to effectively communicate their needs better, as well as help to teach strategies on getting those needs fulfilled in a sustainable manner. I hope to be able to share my journey and processes in getting my own needs fulfilled.

Quick update on the houses: I am trying to sell off everything but the 4-plex, and 3 college houses. I am meeting with a guy on friday to discuss buying a total of 11 units. I am not 100% sure if I want to go this route, but I believe they do make sense financially. We’ll just see how it goes and I’ll play it by ear like I always do. Real estate has been very good to me but I am just not that passionate about it. I need to create and release these infoproducts and see if they add value to people’s lives. Worst case I can always fall back on real estate. My own fear of failure is the only thing holding me back from starting, but I am determined to at least give it a shot! There really is no failure, simply learning experiences. The real failure would be to never even try, so here’s to getting over my own fear and treading a path with more heart and meaning that I hope ends up working out.

2018 Update

2017 was a very good year for my mindset. I have been able to better control my anger and judge others much less. I attended an empathy group regularly and feel I am much more empathetic than I was. I am in the process of selling 3 rentals, looking to consolidate into better ones. I bought a house last friday that should do well as a college house. If all goes according to plan, by this summer I will be caught up on the houses for the most part. I can continue acquiring more, but will likely go another route. I would much rather be doing something I enjoy than something out of necessity. I learned so much this year and am developing a personal development system that I believe will be very helpful to people at any stage of their journey.

I have continued my regular exercise and am the strongest I have ever been in my life. I feel good too, I forgot what it felt like to not feel tired all the time. I have been eating poorly, but just this week started batch cooking healthy meals. Once I get some better nutrition I know I will feel amazing.

Tristan is doing quite well and is happy and healthy. 2017 was pretty stable, but it was definitely a good year. Look forward to 2018 and what the future holds!

A New Direction

Hey people out there in internetland. Hope everyone is having a good holiday and ready for the new year. I recently read an article on biggerpockets that has helped me realize that I need to shift directions when it comes to my RE endeavors. Basically it talks about capital expenditures eating up all the profit on houses that rent for less than $700. While his numbers are sky high, he makes a good point, and I have a few houses which are “PIGs” like he mentions in the article.

The plan moving forward is to sell the PIGs before the major cap ex comes into play and only take the cash flow for 5 or so years. Moving forward I am looking to only acquire houses with multiple units or that cashflow much better than what we see now. Also I am going to consider price appreciation in the houses moving forward also as the PIGs aren’t going to be worth more no matter how much you put into them.

The 4-plex is going to kill it! I am expecting to be all in <50k and maybe even <40k. It will gross $1800 monthly and we have to pay water and gas so i will just ball park $1600 gross before other expenses. Also, it is actually a 6-plex, there are 2 additional units but they need egress windows and are not up to code. I ran all my numbers with it just being a 4-plex but if we can get the other 2 units up and running, it will make it an even better buy. We must acquire more properties like this as well as follow the other game plan of renting places out for 1-10 years and then selling it for a gain. Basically we need to keep “moving up” in properties and not stay at these cheap-o levels. I am very excited for what the future holds.

I wish everyone a very happy holiday and new year. May 2017 be your breakout year! Keep up dat hustle and I know it will be! ūüôā

Quick update – October 2016

I have been fairly busy lately, although I can definitely be managing my time better. We are finally wrapping up the price mistake house and in the meantime have closed on 2 more houses and have a 4-plex that is pending sale that will close early December.  We will probably only be able to get one of the houses done and then will start work on the 4-plex. I have also started using my realtor license for others and it has been a nice boost in income; however, it has taken my time away from my rentals so I am not sure if it is worth it. I need to start delegating more and hiring out work in order to get these houses done.

I have been exercising a minimum of 3 days a week. I have actually gained weight since then, but I have been feeling more energetic lately and am gaining strength. I really don’t care what my body looks like or how strong I am in the end, I just want to feel good and be able to play with Tristan when he gets older and not get winded. He just turned 13 months last week and is growing up fast!

Right now the¬†biggest thing holding me back is, of course, myself. I need to better manage my time and get over some mental blocks to realize my true potential. I know that if I just keep on this slow and steady pace I am on I will be fine, but I feel as if I am wasting my potential. I am also trying to reconnect with people and strengthen my relationships because I am bad at keeping in touch and they are so freaking important. It’s easy to fall in the trap of routine and procrastination, but I know I will prevail in the end!

Self-Worth

Read time: <7 minutes

Self-worth is the first topic that jumped out in my head after thinking about what to post on here next. I hope to explore questions such as:

  • What is self worth?
  • Where does self-worth come from?
  • How¬†to increase self-worth to OVER 9000 and maintain a true, unshakable sense of self-worth¬†(it’s easier than you think!)

First, let’s tackle what self-worth is. Just googling “self-worth” and the first thing that comes up is: “In sociology and psychology, selfesteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self.” I agree with the second part but I see the first part as¬†being way off. I do not see self-esteem as being a reflection of self-worth. I see them as two very different things and just because you have high self-esteem does not necessarily mean you have high self-worth.¬†I want to differentiate between self-esteem and self-worth as I see a lot of people thinking the two terms are¬†one and the same and I see them as quite different. ¬†I see self-worth as a person’s inherent view of themselves, basically how much they value their worth as a person whereas self-esteem¬†is confidence in your abilities which is more extrinsic in nature. Society places a high value on achievements and this extrinsic factor while I believe having a high intrinsic self-worth is¬†better.

In order to talk about where I believe self-worth comes from, it may be easier to first question some common places which people attribute to adding to self-worth.

Does true self-worth come from looks? Oh hell no! And for several reasons. First of all you can’t control your looks besides expensive plastic surgery, and even then your looks WILL eventually fade. If you base your self-worth on how attractive you are, what happens when you are 60+ years old and you lose your attractiveness? Also by basing your self-worth on something you are born with and that is an extrinsic factor, you are basically always comparing yourself to others to maintain your self-worth. What happens when someone comes along that is more attractive than you, which will happen! Even if you are labeled the most attractive person on the planet, that is only a temporary title, you cannot hold onto it forever. By basing your self-worth on something that is outside of your control, extrinsic in nature, and will eventually fade; you are setting yourself up for eventual misery down the road and at the very least, ultimately questioning your self-worth.

Does true self-worth come from your physique? Again, no and I will explain how this differs from looks. Your physique is similar to looks except you have more¬†control over this through proper exercise and nutrition. Looks is your physical level of attraction and physique contributes to this because you can have an amazing body but still be “ugly” according to society’s standards. Again, while it may be a boost to your self-esteem to be disciplined enough to maintain an amazing body, what happens if you “let yourself go”? For any number of reasons; physical injury, sickness, thyroid issues, laziness, depression, age, etc you can lose your figure to any number of reasons. Again, if your self-worth is partly or mostly made up of something extrinsic such as physique, it can all be taken away at any moment.

Does true self-worth come from your talents and abilities? Again no and no! Let’s say you are an amazing piano player naturally. You practice and practice and become one of the best players in the world. By basing your self-worth on extrinsic factors like your piano playing ability, you could lose it all at any moment. This even happened to someone I know. She was an incredible organist but then got a hand issue at a young age which caused her to pretty much lose her ability to play; at the very least severely hamper/limit her current and future ability. This has happened to others as well like¬†sports players who get injured. If they based their self-worth on their abilities, what do you think happened to it once they lost that ability in an instant? Also you are again comparing yourself to others. Even Michael Phelps loses and someone will eventually break his records in everything given enough time.

I feel as if I’m beating a dead horse some, but basically I can name any external factor that people base their self-worth upon and eliminate it because of its extrinsic nature. Money/possessions, relationships, even beliefs and accomplishments can all be taken away at any time and should not be the basis of our self-worth.

If self-worth should not be made up of any of these things, then what CAN self-worth be attributed to? How can we maintain an unshakable level of self-worth despite what happens to us?

The answer comes from within. There is one thing that every single person¬†is best at being in the entire world. The answer is being ourselves. Being our true selves. No one is better at being ourselves than we are. Finding what interests us and makes us happy and being true to ourselves cannot be taken away. Even if someone thinks another person’s¬†interests or quirks makes them¬†weird or uncool or is bad, that is merely an opinion and criticism. It doesn’t change who they are. Discovering and living as our authentic selves and being the best version of ourselves make up our self-worth. It doesn’t compare to anyone else because there will ALWAYS be someone “better” in some way. This is why our self-worth must come from within and from being our true selves, because nothing can take that away from us.

When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we can live as who we truly are and can become the best we can be. No one is better at being themselves. The hardest part in this process is discovering what it means to be true to ourselves and living a life that reflects our most authentic self without reservation. This is no easy task and the vast majority will never experience living with 100% authenticity. We let what others say affect us and influence our decisions.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think having a high self-esteem is a bad thing. It is perfectly fine to be confident with ones’ abilities and achievements and to regard of themselves highly. It’s when we place this false sense of confidence (which can be taken away at any time) as being more important than being true to ourselves is when we have a problem. When we care more about what others’ think, when we change who we are due to someone else’s opinions, when we don’t take our own selves into consideration first, we experience a low sense of self-worth and all the issues that comes with it.

Only you know what makes you truly happy. As long as¬†this happiness doesn’t involve hurting others or taking from them, you should be happy to pursue your interests to the fullest. Once your own needs are met, you are in a much better position to help other people get their needs fulfilled. There is nothing we want more than to get our needs fulfilled and to help others get their needs fulfilled.

So to wrap up, how do we obtain a high sense of unshakable self-worth? Live as your most authentic self. Only you know who that person is. Stop comparing yourself to other people and don’t allow¬†their opinions and criticisms to affect you. Be the best version of yourself you can be. True self-worth comes from within and is not based on anything you can DO. It is based upon BEING. Living every day in the present moment and simply being the person you want to be. That is all any of us can ask. Just because we aren’t a world record holder or gold medalist doesn’t make us any less of a human. Simply being and having a positive impact on the tiny slice of the world that we experience each and every day is enough.