Category Archives: Acceptance

Payments and Happiness

I bought my wife her first smartphone yesterday which she is totally digging.  I got it for $100 on ebay, it is a galaxy s4 mini.  When we went to the ATT store, the new S7 was $800 bucks, but since the payment plans seem so reasonable at around $20-30 a month depending on the term, you don’t think anything of it.  Which has lead me to this post…

Specifications-wise, unless you are a true tech junkie or NEED to take HD photos for your photography business or something, most “current” smartphones work just fine for the average user.  My s4 active is still going strong despite the diagonal crack in the screen.  I compared it to the S7 at the store and response time was very close, maybe the S7 would shave a second or two off of loading a page or whatever, have more pixels and a slightly better camera.

The point I am trying to make is the interesting human desire to have the latest and greatest things. ATT got smart with this new payment system. Once you feed yourself into the system, you are, in essence, making payments for life. It’s similar to people needing a big tv, and leasing a car, etc. Just keep making payments for life instead of owning things outright.

ATT got smart because nowadays, sadly, most people cannot just plop down $800 for a phone. But they can make payments. Even (bad) banks will look at how much people can pay, ignoring the true cost of owning a home.

Most people will not become rich because of this desire of having the latest and greatest, instead of being happy with what they have. This is a mindset issue, and a money issue secondarily.  Could I have bought an S7 for me and laura both and paid cash on the spot? Easily. But by not even having the desire for the latest and greatest, being happy with my cracked S4 phone, it helps me make better life decisions all around, whether financial or personal.

People have to learn to be happy with themselves and their current situation. They must completely realize it, accept it, and only then will they be in a position to get more.  The ironic thing is once they are in that position, they will find themselves not wanting it.

Even in MJ Demarco’s book, the Millionaire Fastlane, his goal was to buy a lambo, and he did. While the desire did help fuel his work ethic, eventually he sold it, when he realized he didn’t even want it anymore. To me this is a big leap in mindset, to be happy with what you have, letting go of your ego and the desire to show off, look cool, etc.

Most people go through these stages of life of an insecure teenager seeking approval, getting older and feeling the need to show off and be important, and finally, when they’re old, realizing none of that material shit matters and really focusing down on relationships and learning to be happy with themselves.  Ideally we would get to that point much earlier in life.

I am VERY fortunate to be relatively close to that point already in my early 30’s. I had to get over my anger issues, ego, addictions, and other issues holding me back. If only more people can experience this shift in mindset at younger and younger ages, will they be able to live happier lives, free from the ego, society/media BS, and trying to please people.

This is what I want to help people achieve. I’m still not sure how I am going to do it, but I am trying to come up with this worldview on how life works, the stages of life, and various insights to help people get on the right track at whatever stage in the process they may be.  This is kind of a discombobulated, random post, but I just felt the need to post my thoughts. Once I get more organized I will be able to express myself more clearly and better get my message through to people. I know I have a lot of work to do.

My wife FINALLY got a smart phone. On April 1, 2016. An older one. I still have my old ass phone that I am happy with. What things in your life that you are constantly “upgrading” can you take a step back and realize what you have is just fine? Once you start this shift in mindset, you will, ironically, find more abundance in your life that you won’t even desire.

Worthiness

I have made a goal to write way more often and just want to improve my writing in general as well as get into the habit of writing.  I’m shooting for 25 min per day minimum and also plan on incorporating the Pomodoro method into my life to increase my productivity.  I’m not sure how I will have enough topics to write about, but I am planning to pump them out, whatever topic they may be.  I understand the articles may be a bit unorganized and scatterbrained, but since I am just writing on the fly, I hope I can maintain some sort of structure.

Today I wanted to talk about worthiness.  I honestly feel that a lot of people do not meet various goals in their lives because they feel unworthy of achieving them.  Let’s start with one of the biggest desires and wants people have – the desire for more money.  Ask literally anyone on the street if they’d accept 100k right there on the spot with no strings attached, and I’d say everyone would say yes.

The problem is that while pretty much everyone wants more money, they couldn’t handle a large sum like that and would most likely spend it.  Deep down they would feel unworthy and undeserving of the money, and would spend it all to return to homeostasis.  Generally speaking, the more money you have, the more VALUE you have provided to the world.  Simply looking at jobs, there’s a reason why doctors and engineers make more money than cashiers and floor sweepers – they are providing a more valuable skill to the world and are thus worthy of greater compensation.  The same can be said about the richest people in the world.  They have provided a valuable product or service that has helped millions of people in some way.  Whether that’s writing books about a teenage wizard, developing a software company, or creating a social platform online; these billionaires are worthy of their riches.  They have given an insane amount of value to millions upon millions of people the world over.

Do you think the cashier who lives in mom’s basement and plays games all day feels truly worthy and deserving of a large sum of money?  Even if he were to win the lottery, do you think he would be able to hold on to, or even increase his winnings?  Highly doubtful as he would not feel worthy of the money and would do whatever means necessary (spend it) to revert back to the status quo.

The same can be said about relationships.  Let’s say you are someone who is very socially anxious, and has never had a girlfriend.  Again, you stay in your parents basement playing games day and night, are extremely overweight and are mildly depressed. Let’s say an amazing person somehow drops into your lap, is drop-dead gorgeous, fun to be around, amazing personality, the total package, and this person falls madly in love with you.  Even if you go along with it at first, eventually you would think to yourself, “why does this person love me?” You would begin to question their love because you would feel unworthy of it.  You have nothing to offer them.  Nothing of value.  You would eventually either directly or sub-consciously sabotage the relationship because you would feel unworthy of this person.

Most people want to blame someone or something else for their problems.  They blame their parents, society, the government, the media, being bullied or abused at a young age, growing up poor, and on and on.  While most people do have some skeletons in the closet, the key is total acceptance

When it comes to feeling worthy of any of our wants and desires, we must first and foremost be completely accepting of ourselves.  If we do not love ourselves fully and without reservation, how can we expect anyone else to do likewise? Even if you are not your ideal self now, you must be fully accepting of who you are, where you are in life, and have a positive vision of your life for the future. You must let go of the past and accept where you are in this present moment.  Just by making the decision to take full responsibility of your life situation, you will be in the position to better your life.

I know it’s way easier said than done. It’s incredibly difficult to get over your personal issues and most people never fully will. The thing you need to understand is that you are worthy of love, if you can come to love yourself. Striving to be the best version of yourself will put you in a better mindset to feel worthy of accepting all the things you want in life.  For people to achieve the goals in their lives, a huge part of that is having the proper mindset in order to do so.  Mindset is key.  Having the right mindset can pull you from your bootstraps out of a life of misery, but that is a deeper topic for another day.

TAN: For now, just get in the habit of practicing daily affirmations.  Look into the mirror and tell yourself, “I am worthy of love, and I accept myself where I am at completely.”  I know it sounds a bit silly, but by doing this you will start to change the negative thought patterns that go through your head.  What we tell ourselves whether out loud or in our heads is incredibly important.  The universe is completely unbiased; whether you fill your subconscious with positive or negative thoughts, they will literally create the reality you live in and I have seen it in my own life and others directly. This is not some new age frou frou crap. This is a fact and I can point to countless real-life examples. Your thoughts are incredibly powerful.  Once you begin to shift your mindset, you will get to the point will you will feel worthy of receiving your greatest desires.  And you will attract them into your life.

Nobody’s Perfect and Everyone is Mostly Full of Shit

Read time: <4 minutes

Do you have a particular blogger or two that you look up to? Possibly a few facebook friends who you are jealous of? Ever wish you were someone like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet?  I’m here to tell you that most, if not all, people try and paint a rosy picture of themselves online or even in real life and declare how great their life is and how many breakthroughs they are having in their life and on and on and on.

I’m here to say it’s mostly bullshit.

Whether it’s facebook, a blog, or even face-to-face, people generally won’t tell you what’s really up in their lives unless they are really close to you or very open. They won’t say what problems they are having in their relationships, jobs, health, or in discovering their life purpose. Social niceties drive me up a damn wall and I feel as if I’m trapped in my own personal hell with the same routine of “How are you?” “Fine, and you?” blah blah blah ad infinitum/nauseum

Well enough ranting, but generally the more people try and show off/brag/etc. the more insecure they really are. If my life is amazing, I don’t have to tell people that my life is amazing. It just is.

Let me get to the point. Stop wishing you were someone else or had their life. Their life is far from perfect. They have their own issues to deal with just like everyone else. They shit and wipe their ass just like everyone else. The next time you find yourself putting someone on a pedestal, imagine them sitting on the toilet taking a shit and then wiping their ass. Literally, imagine it. They are human too with many faults, flaws, insecurities, and issues. Accept the cards you’ve been dealt and make the most with what you have. Our choices ultimately shape who we become and what kind of life we will live.

I know, I know. It is much much much much easier to watch tv, drink pop, eat mcdonalds, talk about the weather instead of real life issues and settle for the status quo. It is a constant uphill battle to fight laziness and entropy. And I’d say the vast majority of people will give up, accept mediocrity, and become part of the 99%. Be the 1%, and I’m not talking about getting rich in a monetary sense necessarily. Live a rich, fulfilling life and appreciate every moment. No one is perfect. You can choose to live the life you want by changing your actions.

TAN: First of all, you have to accept the cards you’ve been dealt in life and get over the poor me bullshit. Ok, you weren’t born Paris Hilton. So what? Accept your circumstances and realize that you can improve your circumstances through changing your actions. Take full responsibility of your life. Only when you take full responsibility of your life can you improve upon it.

Second, analyze which areas in your life need to be improved. Rate each area (health, money, career, relationships, spirituality, etc. on a scale of 1-10. Get all areas of your life to 9 or 10. How to do it is relatively easy. For health, stop eating shit and exercise. For money, stop living outside your means and spending your money on stupid shit you don’t need. For career, learn more about any subject for free by using the library or internet. Learn tangible skills that make you more marketable to employers. For relationships and spirituality, those are entire articles/books in themselves, but you get the point. Getting off your lazy ass and getting to work is the hard part. Make goals with deadlines and go for it. Write them down. Look at them daily. Get an accountability partner. All these things will add up to improve your chances of success.

Third, reap the benefits. Life is not a competition to be won. He who dies with the most toys/experiences/lovers/followers still dies. Despite what people tell you, I am a firm believer in this. You must let go of other people’s expectations to be happy. I’ve known people living in complete poverty who were still relatively happy compared to someone who is super rich but miserable. This is all internal. Only you know what makes you happy. Do the things that make you happy (as long as it doesn’t hurt others, obviously). You don’t have to show off or require anyone’s approval but your own. You are accountable to no one but yourself. Once you realize this, you will truly be free. And happy. 🙂