Category Archives: Personal Development

Ah-Ha Moments

Read time: <3 minutes

As I state in my about me section, I cannot change you for the better. Only you can change yourself. I am a firm believer in what I like to call “ah-ha moments” that can greatly alter your course in life for the good or bad. Something influences you, you have that ah-ha moment, and something inside of you changes that causes you to change your behavior. Let’s look at several different real-life scenarios.

I like to talk about health issues a lot with my wife, but oftentimes it can come across as lecturing or harping on her about things. Well she had an AHM one day while randomly watching tv and some lady basically said some of the same things I had been saying. My wife told me about her AHM and how she just needed to hear what I was saying from someone else. Anyway, the lady on tv was her inspiration to have that AHM, even though she knew all along what she needed to do.

Another example is a woman in a physically abusive relationship. I mean, she literally has visible bruises from the abuse. All her family and friends say she needs to get out of the relationship, and, clearly she does, but she decides to stay. One day, the guy breaks her arm during one of his episodes and she finally decides to leave. While extreme, it took that event for her to have her AHM and get out of the relationship, even though she had people telling her the exact same thing the whole time and it seemed obvious that she needed to leave.

I know this girl who smoked about a pack a day. I oftentimes would tell her that she needs to quit smoking/not smoke so much and she always says that she knows and whatnot. Then, she gets pregnant. After she finds out the news, she quits smoking cold turkey for the entire pregnancy. It took that outside event, the health of her unborn child, to spark the AHM in order for her to change. Unfortunately, as soon as the baby was born, she started smoking again, and in this case, the outside influence was the only thing that caused her to change. Once it was removed, she went right back to her old habit. Ideally, an AHM would spark internal change that would cause you to want to change for good.

I, personally, find that I have a lot of AHMs while reading books or even various articles on some of the blogs I follow. Various interactions with people also have been the source of many AHMs for me, specifically deep conversations, mentor situations, and even just having a drink with a friend.

There are many more examples, but one of my goals in life is to help people experience as many of these AHMs as possible. I find that living an extraordinary life and being an inspiration to others is one of the best ways to incite change within others. Whether we are talking health, wealth, relationships, bad habits, addictions, or various mental issues, a person will only change when they decide for themselves that they want to change.

Take action now: AHMs are worthless if you don’t act on that internal feeling of wanting to change. Once you have an AHM, you must change your actions or the moment is wasted.

Start by reflecting on some of the times in your life when you experienced an AHM. Perhaps it was a time you quit a bad habit or started a good one. It could have been when you had a realization in your job, relationships, spirituality, or physical/mental health and you changed your life due to that realization. Once you recognize a couple of AHMs in your life, narrow down the source of inspiration that caused your moment. Everyone’s source of inspiration to change will be different, but the goal is to immerse yourself in the situations that help you have the most AHMs. These sources could be through books, meditation, conversations, through service to others, even tv shows or movies. How about kylefromkansas.com? 😀

Remember you must act on these moments. AHMs without action are worthless. Find a group of like-minded people to support you in your new change. Meetup.com is a good source or even craigslist. Don’t let that AHM go to waste!

All Dogs Go to Heaven

Read Time: 2.5 minutes

I remember back when I was in middle school sometimes wishing I was our dog, Freckles. I’d say to myself, “Man, I wish I had it easy like Freckles. She gets to lay around all day and has no worries.”

Recently, I was at church when the pastor started talking about how glorious heaven was and how awesome it will be once we get there. I believe he even went so far as to say, “Just take me now.” I even have a good friend who will sometimes comment how he wishes he were dead (he’s not suicidal) just so he could go to heaven and all would be well. It doesn’t even have to be as drastic as death; you could wish you were a celebrity, rich person, more attractive/popular/athletic/funny etc.

This is a dangerous mindset to have. You become an “escapist” and daydream of a “better life” without taking action. This is also where substance abuse comes into play. Drinking your sorrows away or escaping into video games all day long. These are coping methods that don’t get down to the root of the problem of acceptance of yourself and your situation.

When I think about these situations, it saddens me. It saddens me that we would think our problems are so great, we would rather take the easy way out. Whether or not you believe in an afterlife, we should all make the most of our very limited time here.

There truly is no “easy” way (unless you are extremely lucky!) to achieve results in every aspect of life. It takes work to improve yourself and your life, and especially to live a life you can look back on and be proud of all that you have achieved.

While it is important to be happy in the moment and appreciate what we already have, we should always be moving forward. Improving ourselves and the world we live in so there are less people wishing they were something or somewhere else. There is no better place than this present moment! Enjoy it and create for yourself a fulfilling life!

Take action now: First of all just stop and take a moment to count your blessings. Think about all the good things you have in life. Whether that be as simple as a bed, food, and a roof over your head, you are way better off than most of the people in the world if you just have these things! Not to mention the freedom to do things without persecution, relationships, education, the list goes on and on. Having a gratitude attitude really helps to put your life in perspective and realize that things are not as bad as they seem.

Second, take the time to make your life better so you are not wishing you were not yourself. I have mentioned 30 day trials many times and will continue to do so. Get an accountability partner. Join a meetup.com group that focuses on personal development. Get out there and stop wishing your life was better, make it better through your actions!

Why Most Workouts Don’t Work Out

 

Read time: 90 seconds

I am a health nut. I care about my diet way more than I should. I have never really been overweight. Yet I obsess over my health and my weight more than most personal trainers. I attribute it mostly to my wrestling days (starving myself and wearing sweats to bed to make weight) but I am concerned about my health in my later years, and know that by taking care of it now, I will have less issues to deal with in the future.

Most workouts don’t work out for one reason, they are not fun! An example in my life has been my constantly trying to enjoy running. I have even joined a running club for accountability, but the fact still remains, I hate running! The only way you will ever get in the habit of regular exercise is if you enjoy what you are doing. Whether that be a sport, workout videos, zumba, or whatever suits your fancy, I guarantee you won’t stick with it for long unless you enjoy it.

For me personally, I have found the workouts on bodyrock.tv very enjoyable. It doesn’t hurt that Zuzana is smoking hot too…;) I also love to play DDR, which can be quite a “workout” in itself. I enjoy playing sports and I enjoy riding my bike.

You have to find a type of exercise you will enjoy or you won’t stick with it. Period.

Unconventional exercise also helps, especially on the road as my friend, Kevin, has discovered with his “mobile fitness” videos. You must get creative and above all else enjoy your workouts. Even if you just like walking in your local park; if you do it regularly, I guarantee you will see results. As long as you aren’t eating like total crap.

Take action now: Think of how many times you have told yourself you will exercise/run more/finally get to working out this year, and how many failed new year’s resolutions have followed. Now think about what kinds of exercise you truly enjoy. It could be any kind of sport, yoga, kettleballs, even sex! Find an exercise you enjoy doing, and stick with it! It’ll do wonders for your health and overall well-being.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor claim to offer any advice on health or medical issues. This is just my opinion so take it or leave it!

Do you TAN?

Read time: 2 minutes

TAN = take action now, or TANgible action.

You may have noticed that I try to get my readers to take immediate action after reading my posts. Knowledge without action is useless. If you read a personal development blog or book, and do not take any action, you are reading for entertainment, not for self improvement. I find myself doing this from time to time and do my best to turn what I read into tangible action which positively affects my life.

One of the best ways to achieve this, is to have a journal or at least have your goals written down. There’s something magical about having your thoughts and goals down on paper that transforms them into action that achieves positive, tangible change in your life. There is also a therapeutic nature of writing down your issues in life. Studies (here, here p270-87, here p21-41, here) have shown that journaling is a more effective form of therapy than talking to someone about your issues, whether that be a friend or therapist. Save money, don’t see a shrink or talk to your friends about your issues, write about them! Also, when it comes to books, I will oftentimes write down the biggest points I want to remember in a word processor, so I can review it later. I have found this has helped me reinforce the main ideas of a book and ensures that I get the most from each book I read.

Another way I like to achieve tangible results from reading is to have affirmations of what I am currently achieving in my life. I truly believe that your thoughts can be very powerful and what you send into your subconscious can manifest in physical form in your life. Through positive affirmations, you can influence your subconscious mind for your benefit and well-being and see the tangible results happen in your life.

I have also achieved positive results through the use of 30 day trials. If you want to take immediate action in any area of your life you wish to improve, I definitely recommend this method and have achieved many positive, tangible results in my life through the use of various trials. You can search through my old blog as I have written in depth of several successful trials on there.

Take Action Now: Think about some of the things you read: blogs, books, the newspaper, magazines, etc. Are you reading these things for growth or pleasure? Try and take steps toward achieving your goals and avoid mental masturbation. While it is fine to read books or other things for pleasure, make sure you aren’t mistaking true growth for pleasure. Start a journal, read more non-fiction books, start a 30 day trial. Do something! Take that first babystep towards improving yourself; you won’t be disappointed!

No Excuses

Read time: 90 seconds

Don’t ever* complain about your life circumstances. Why? Because essentially, you are where you are in life because of the the choices you have made up until now. Every single little and big decision you have chosen has all contributed and led up to your current life situation in this very moment.

Are you currently happy with your life? Do you wish you were richer/skinnier/more popular/more successful/have more loving relationships/etc? Then you must change your actions, your everyday choices, to achieve different results.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Do you sit around watching tv/playing video games/surfing the internet for hours and hours? Go out drinking/partying every weekend? You MUST put in the work now to reap the benefits later.

You have NO excuses.

You can literally learn ANYTHING these days for FREE on the internet or at the library. You want more money? Read some books on personal finance and start a side hustle to bring in some more dough. Learn graphic design/how to program/web design/photography/a foreign language/seo/cooking/gardening – the list goes on and on ad infinitum. You can easily monetize any of these skills and more.

If you wish to have better health, you can’t sit around eating junk food and expect for it to get better. Do some people have it easy? Of course. And it sucks. But if you aren’t one of those people blessed with a high metabolism, you are just going to have to put in more work to get the results you want. Don’t worry, it WILL eventually catch up to the “lucky ones” if they really do eat like crap and don’t exercise.

Take action now: Choose an area in your life that you are unhappy with. Think about all the choices you have made regarding this area up until this point. Do your choices reflect where you stand at this point? If you wish to improve in whatever area you have chosen, try a 30 day trial to improve this area. You must change your choices if you wish to see different results!

*I put an asterisk by ever because in rare circumstances, you can literally be “screwed” by your life circumstances. If you are born with a certain defect, are in chronic pain, have some sort of extreme disorder then my heart goes out to you. I still think you can make the best of your situation, however, and my advice still would be not to complain about it…;)