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I said my vows just over a week ago and I’d like to share a little insight on this thing called marriage. Before getting married and up until now, I have been bombarded with any and all advice relating to marriage. I’ve had people telling me “how it’s gonna be” and what to expect and on and on.
I just want to say right now that a lot of it is crap. If you can recall from my article on congruency, I have been getting a lot of advice from people who are not married, or even in a relationship. I have received advice from people who have been divorced and are not in happy marriages/relationships. You think I’m going to take their advice on how to have a successful marriage or what I “need to do” to make a marriage successful?
Cheap advice is the most abundant thing on the planet. I am going to say right now that this is not going to be your typical co-dependent, need the other person to be there every waking moment, marriage. Apparently it’s taboo to hang out with single people of the opposite sex if you’re married. I am still going to hang out with single friends of either sex unlike what typically happens once you join the marriage club and I expect DW to do the same. I expect generally the same level of freedom and will give DW hers as well.
I started a site called socialunconditioning.com and want to use it to help troubled teens, those with low self esteem, those who have been bullied, ridiculed, etc. and need to know that we have all been conditioned to believe what we do and it’s all a load of crap.
Basically, you don’t have to fall in line and believe what everyone else does. You don’t have to accept what is “cool” and “politically correct” or any other dogma out there. You don’t have to be the person that people will try and make you conform to. Just like the so called expectations in my marriage.
If my marriage doesn’t stand the test of time then you can call me out on my own incongruency 😉
PS: Here is a link to the awesome slideshow I made for the wedding. Not too bad for my first time I’d say!